morose and gleaming

i've been listening to the new stars record non-stop. the five ghosts and the seance ep. the entire record is daunting and eerie, and its catchy tunes do not fail to captivate. the opening song, one of the best on the record in my opinion, is perfect. the male v.s. female q&a is fucking spectacular with repetition and rhythm lurking around every corner. i could go on and try to describe how each song makes me feel, but why not describe what the entirety has lain upon my thoughts?

i am and have always been deeply afraid of ghosts. i can't stand being in the dark, and when i'm alone, i often fill my mind with morose thoughts of ghosts haunting me and tricking me and watching me. i would have strategic ways of turning off lights as i make my way to my bedroom so i never have to be be alone in the dark for too long. i used to run through the hallway in the house i grew up in because when you're young, hallways seem to span forever. i used to be afraid of showering alone so i made my little sister sit on the toilet and read to me while i scrubbed and lathered. i used to have reoccurring nightmares that haunted me even when i was awake. however, i think this record has changed my perspective on ghosts..

popular belief has us accepting the idea that ghosts are lost souls who linger on this planet because they were not ready to leave, but is anyone ever ready to leave? they are the pale, translucent spirits with spine-chilling murmurs.

i think ghosts are just the memories of people we love, embodied into invisible entities that, at the end of the day, are always in the back of our mind. we feel them reaching for us, but it's really the hidden memories in our brain trying to find a way out to send us the proper messages. the phantom(s) of our hearts. i miss my aunt.

best,
t.tran