an encounter with a mack truck

while driving into queens with isabel's mom the other day, we sat through an hour and a half of moronic driving, endless traffic, and overly suppressed bladders. mama mares also yelled at a mack truck backing up in the middle of a street, not that the driver was doing anything wrong, but she just really had to pee and subsequently gave 3 whiney honda civic honks. then isabel remembered something her mom had said years ago... something about mack trucks resembling hardships in life, and how once in a while, people will run into a mack truck. not that the 15 seconds we spent waiting for the truck to back up and straighten out was a hardship... but the idea stuck with me. isabel's truck is heading toward her now. surgery. that's her mack truck. then i thought, oh fuck am i really someone who has yet to face her mack truck?

someone once told me that i'm not going to have a problem finding some sort of success in my life because i'm lucky and everything somehow manages to work out. is that true?!?!! because i can't stand the thought of that. i work hard for what i've gained! right? i don't even know. i just couldn't really pin-point an event or decision in my life that i can classify as my mack truck. perhaps that is a good thing... or does that mean the truck is nearby, speeding, and ready to total my life? now i'm sorta paranoid and i keep trying to look for remnants of my collision. i can almost taste the bittersweetness that will engulf my tongue all the way to my lungs when i walk down the fire spoiled streets, hopping over rugged metal pieces, and lifting up debris to find proof of a crash.

maybe some people live their lives in a perpetual crash? then how do they feel the burn? crash, then burn... right? i make no sense!

anyway, i'm going to start my internship on monday. a lot of the work can be done at home since the company is super green and we all believe email is one of the best forms of communication. however, the director is in london and there will be plenty of space for me to work in the office. i am so excited. should i show up in jeans?

all the best,

tracy tran