Can I tell you that you're the purple in me?

My cousin and I have been looking for apartments non-stop. This is intense. I'm going to be living with her friend but I can't move in until next month so I have to find a place for this coming month. Carly went with me to Queens today to meet with a tenant but I couldn't get ahold of him and when he finally called me back, my phone ran out of batteries. The area of Queens was really nice though. I would actually love to live there, but it's a long train ride from Manhattan.

It's weird. I never imagined having to live on my own and paying rent at age 19. This is somewhat exciting. I am poor as fuck though. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have this $30,000 loan on my shoulders. Paying it off each month is a bitch. My parents only paid for tuition on two occasions. They paid for the $1,500 housing deposit, and when I was $1,400 short this semester, they paid for it. Which was awesome because I thought I had to sell stuff like my video camera, my external hard drive, my guitar that I don't use, and other shit. I thought I would have to borrow some money from my cousin as well. Thanks Mom!

Other than that, they haven't given me any money at all. Well, they gave me $500 when I left California. My grandma and my aunts and stuff gave me money as well, which was awesome because I didn't have a job yet. But now, I am seriously making it on my own.

Well the semester is coming to an end and which means we're almost officially done with our first year of college. Everyone makes college seem like a pivotal moment in our lives, but it's just college and years pass by so fast, we don't really have the time to pause and appreciate everything. Sometimes I wish I could somehow gather everyone that is important to me and bring them everywhere I go. It's impossible. We establish new relationships as we go on with our lives, but we leave behind the relationships we've already built... and only the ones with a strong foundation will overcome the distance and time and loneliness and distractions.

Omg, how am I going to say goodbye to my America Reads students? D: