We were younger yesterday

Summertime in New York has been great. Betty is getting here tomorrow morning. Christine will be here next week. Jessica is moving here on August 20, which, btw, is the same date I got here last year. How neat.

I went on a trip two weeks ago with people from school. Black Rock Forest, New York. It was quite spectacular. Apparently, my 8-person room was referred to as the "party room". I wonder why. (Btw, carrying 3 40's and 2 24's by yourself up a huge flight of stairs is not easy.)

I need to stop spending money on beer and cigarettes.

My mom recently informed me about problems at home. Bleh. Life shouldn't be this complicated, but it is. My rationalities are pertained as fractions of my guilt and selfishness. The more I try to manifest myself as an adult, the harder I find it to speak to my parents about certain issues. This sucks.

Eric and I were brought to a police station last night lol. Don't ask why. It was stupid.

I like plans. I was never one for looking into the future and making goals. Er, they are not goals, rather, but in my current situation, it makes me feel a little more grounded to have a certain path in mind. Growing up, I always wanted to live spontaneously and just challenge each day as it comes. Who is to say you can't do that AND have a ten year plan in mind? I don't refer to them as goals because I correlate that word with expectations and the assumption of failure and disappointment. Let's not go there. Let's be happy and let the world know we're alive and ready.

Tell me about your plans. I'd like to know.

I finally finished The Children's Hospital. I don't know. Do not read that if you're depressed or sad or whatever. I think it will fuck you up. It was a very depressing book. It was good, but I felt like it was too much to indulge way too often. I did start a new book. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I really like it. It's also very sad, but very funny. Just like Everything is Illuminated. (Btw, it's not underlined because I am referring to the movie since I didn't read the book, but I imagine the book to be even better.)

I'd like to think I'm patient. As patient as I could be. I don't mind waiting; I've been waiting. I'm hoping the anticipation is worthwhile. Sometimes anxiety gets the best of me, but mostly, I feel vulnerable.