reeling and relaxing

i should really sleep because summer classes start tomorrow. but that's okay because i'm seeing metric on the 17th and life is good. got good grades. all i need is a raise at work. like that's ever going to happen

i was talking to my cousin amy, and she told me that my mom brought me up during a dinner conversation. as much as i love her, i can't stand her judgements and closed-minded opinions. she basically told my aunt and uncle how she thinks i have a weird process of thinking. example: i am an organ donor. she doesn't understand why i chose to be an organ donor. isn't it simple??? i wouldn't need lungs because breathing wouldn't be an option. i wouldn't need a heart because the plasma has run dry, blood still, oxygen nonexistent, romanticist ideals gone. waves of emotion stops transmission upon a brain that fails to function. i do not believe in the after life, and even if i did, the soul isn't tangible, cannot be donated, cannot be interrupted from its path. mother, i do not understand your way of thinking, and i apologize for that.

on a different note, i've been beaten down by the writing process. perhaps this is not my thing. this "song book" is a bit depressing to look at, or to acknowledge its existence. i need a new hobby. after all, i did buy a skateboard. i should put it to more use. i also have intense feelings to get rid of. i'm projecting too much and hoping for something that will eventually cause too much damage... ruined pillars and bloodshed. victims exchanged for relief. for sure. anyway, the selected works of t.s. spivet by reif larsen. check it out.