accomplishments and success

how is it that i feel more accomplished finishing my second year of college than my first? after my first year at nyu, i felt nothing at all. transferring to hunter, i felt like i was throwing away a dream. there are two types of dreams. and i could spend hours thinking of how to word those two types of dreams, but let's just say nyu was one of them. i'm not sure what i have now. more of a goal than a dream. more of a plan than a goal. more of just... life. anyway, accomplishments. i feel proud of myself. is that bad to say? i feel proud of my fellow classmates and friends in the teacher academy. i'm in the second cohort, mixed with freshmen and new transfers, but a majority of them are freshmen. it may be my second year of college, but i feel as if it's my first. i feel like a freshmen college student who is about to finish her first year. we just gave a presentation today and that basically wrapped up our first year of host school seminars. the presentations were unorganized... hours of technical difficulties later, we finished with smiles and hugs from our graduate teaching mentors, appreciation from our advisors, and a sense of gratitude in ourselves.

how corny does that sound? it's true though.
they said they saw a maturity grow in all of us. very sincere. how else is that supposed to make us feel. great.

the school year is almost over, and i am quite afraid. the fellowship is intense work, so i've heard. moving on with our academic career, we're supposed to grow up, learn, change, and i still act like a teenager with adult responsibilities. oh early twenties, you will be full of surprises.

i went to a bar on the upper east side last night. spent more money than i should. my friend linda threw up on me. then we asked the cab driver to stop in the middle of the road and she barfed out the door. fun times! we got home safe and sound.

today is my only day off this week and i'm exhausted. i think a bunch of us are going to the museum of natural history tomorrow to work on some lab. i have no idea what we're doing. i just want to look at the giant squid and the whale and dinosaur bones and the geology section. science rocks, but not chemistry or physics.

gotta do what makes us happy.
gotta do what we want.
gotta let go.
gotta have strength to fight the demons.
gotta have patience.

peace and love,
t