The ones you love are the ones you burn

I am really digging The Stills' new album "Oceans Will Rise". And how I managed to lose my Tegan and Sara tickets... I do not know. I have two months to find them.

We dropped off Betty at JFK yesterday, and I already miss her terribly. She said the only thing she didn't like about New York was the smell. Oh, and the crazy rude drivers. Anyway, we randomly talked about her moving to New York, not seriously, but it was a nice thought. My mom would have a heart attack and die just to come back alive for another one. Let's not do that.

But seriously, my room feels empty without her. Since we did clean and re-arrange it together. Plus, there are a bajillion holes in my air mattress so I've been sleeping on the hard floor. My back hurts and I cannot afford a real bed. Nor will I buy another air bed because it will deflate again...

I have been doing a lot of reading this summer. Not enough though. I re-read Franny and Zooey. I read The Children's Hospital, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, the Watchmen graphic novel, re-read parts of Candide then I sold it for a dollar so I could buy food, and I am currently reading Life of Pi. I also bought A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but only because everyone fucking talks about it. I assume it's one of those books they required high schoolers to read just because they live in New York City.

School starts next week. Summer came and went. Youth is fleeting. Everyday, I try to imagine a new person, someone better, someone I'd like to be. But bad habits aren't easy to change, change alone is not easy, but it's always been something I've been comfortable around. So, while I try to slowly force dissipation upon my old self, I find it hard to mold myself into someone I want to be. Maybe because it's not who I am, but I shall try harder, and if I fail miserably, then perhaps through the experience of trying to change, I will have changed. Ha. Fucking Hell. Cheers to the fall. The next four months should run pretty smoothly, except for the fact that I am retarded when it comes to Chemistry so that might stress me a bit. But things are swell... I think. Hopefully, I'll return home for Christmas and show my mom what a year away has done for me.

I requested a two week vacation at work so I could spend time with Betty. She left last night and it's back to work today! I am actually excited to sell some father fucking dumplings. Oh. And hopefully my plans will go well tonight and I'll be able to catch my manager's free show in Williamsburg tonight. What a fucking hip place to play :(

Until something interesting happens,
Peace.