She's made of sulfur in the night

If there is a distinct threshold you're supposed to surpass when you start your college career, then I think I've missed it, or have yet to pass it. Who's to give you proper advice and insights on the aspect of failure and success. I think I've failed... miserably, but I'm still standing, and in reality, failure is miles away. Ego. That's all it really is, that's all it really was. And that's where it all starts. I guess I can self-announce that I was a little too ambitious, and what drives ambition but a little taste of confidence, and when one has confidence, one has pride. At least I was able to recognize that fault, but sometimes I really wish I hadn't.

I was in WSP today and I met two Jamaican musicians. First of all, they were stoned as hell, but they both had very soothing voices, and tonight was the coolest, breeziest, and most beautiful nights New York City has seen in a while. Their lyrics were touching and easily accessible to anyone who was willing to lend an ear. I guess I was lucky. They spoke to me about politics, education, and human idiosyncrasies. They asked me if I go to NYU, and I told them it was a part of my life once upon a time. They asked me what I'm studying and where I'd like to go. I told them the truth: I want to drop out of college and be poor and travel and see the world for myself and not hear it from other people. They said I'm young and I have the rest of my life to travel, but I may never get another chance at a college education. They also said that traveling is the shit, but you're going to need someplace to go "home" to. They saw through me pretty easily within the hour of our conversing. I don't remember what it was exactly, but they kept talking about "moments" and time. It might have been a side effect of cannabis.

I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied. I mentioned a certain threshold earlier, the one I failed to acknowledge within my first year of college, but I've certainly crossed a different one. Maybe these boundaries aren't supposed to be categorized. I don't know. But I can surely say I've grown more mature, more responsible, more open-minded, and more respectful to my parents. I'm pretty sure college had nothing to do with it though. I could be wrong. These things pour out like blood from a deep wound; all warm and eating at my sanity.

Plus, cats keep running into my window.